Dustbusters

Spoke with Summit County Adult Protective Services yesterday regarding my mother and my concerns about her diminished capacity to take care of herself and the possible exploitation by her house cleaners. She pays Nancy and Phil $321 a week for six hours of work, but I see no significant improvement in the condition of her house over the two years they have worked for her. Nancy primarily drives my mother around shopping and Phil shreds paper and does some yard work and occasional home repairs.

When my mother was in the hospital and rehab center, I was able to get them to actually help us clean my mother's condo. They insist that my mother does not allow them to do anything of significance and, knowing my mother, that is a very real possibility. Yet I can't help but think that if they had her best interests in mind, they would work with me in getting her the help she needs.

     2013 condition of kitchen after one year of paying DustBusters $321/weekly to clean.

    Condition of kitchen after I supervised Dustbusters, before my mother returned home from rehab.

I do not have a picture of the current condition of my mother's kitchen, but over the past five months It is gradually returning to its former condition. All but one kitchen chair and tabletop are filled with mail, newspapers, magazines, and bottles of medication.The floor surrounding the kitchen table is covered with boxes of overflowing mail and other paper and food. Her countertops are filled with food in various stages of decay. I will try to get an updated photo if she allows me into her home.

My biggest concern - she is unable to properly control her medication and medical records in all this accumulation of junk mail and garbage. She cannot distinguish between junk mail, advertisements, solicitations, and mail that she really needs to address. She is completely incompetent in handling her mail, personal finances, meal preparation and clean-up.

Totally Stressed Out

What do you do when everyone is telling you something different? I realize that I need to file for guardianship of my 90 year old mother before more harm comes to her. She can no longer handle her home, personal hygiene, finances, etc., etc., etc.

Director of our local Senior Center gave me a flyer put out by www.CarePatrol.com entitled "20 Signs Your Loved One May Need More Help:

• Spoiled food doesn't get thrown away (just open front door - you get the idea)
• Missing important appointments (has to be written on calendar or won't remember)
• Unexplained bruising (frequent falls that she denies vociferously)
• Trouble getting up from a seated position (needs help)
• Difficulty with walking, balance and mobility (won't use a cane, but holds on to nearest person)
• Uncertainty and confusion when performing once-familiar tasks (almost everything)
• Forgetfulness (doesn't even bother trying to remember anymore)
• Unpleasant body odor (tries covering odor with perfume)
• Infrequent showing and bathing (don't think she does, washes off in front of sink only)
• Strong smell of urine in the house (especially on soiled clothing)
• Noticeable decline in grooming habits and personal care (incontinent, needs to be reminded to purchase Depends but only wants to use mini-pads)
• Dirty house, extreme clutter and dirty laundry piling up (yes, yes, and yes)
• Stacks of unopened mail or an overflowing mailbox (piles of opened and unopened mail, can't distinguish the difference between junk mail and letters and bills)
• Late payment notices, bounced checks and calls from bill collectors (forgets to deposit checks from investments, pay taxes and insurance, and is very susceptible to scams and mail solicitations)
• Poor diet or weight loss (eating spoiled food)
• Loss of interest in hobbies and activities (daily mail is her only hobby)
• Changes in mood or extreme mood swings (yes)
• Forgetting to take medications - or taking more than the prescribed dosage (follows what is printed on the label, even if doctor tells her otherwise verbally or in writing)
• Diagnosis of dementia or early onset Alzheimer's (diagnosis of dementia in February)
• Unexplained dents and scratches on car (lost license after hitting a motorcycle)

The list was helpful in making me realize that I'm not losing my mind, that my mother really does have problems.