Christmas Eve

Had Aaron, Alex, grandkids, and my mother over for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner. My mother “forgot” that we exchange Christmas gifts, which we've done every year of my entire life. 

She managed to use the bathroom once during the evening, but smelled very bad by the time Dale and Aaron took her home. Aaron helped her to the door, but was overwhelmed by the odor emanating from the interior of her home. The smell of urine and rotting food is unbelievable. 

She still has that cleaning crew coming twice a week. They keep telling us that she won't let them do anything other than shred paper and drive her around shopping.

Current Condition of My Mother

Fri., Nov. 28 - took my mother to her favorite restaurant for lunch. She could barely walk unassisted. We suggested that a doctor visit should be scheduled, but she refused.

Sun., Nov. 30 - Picked mom up for church. Her foot was bothering her even more. She said that she had gone to a podiatrist in town and that nothing was broken or sprained. She could't remember who took her to the doctor's office or his name or location. I have to believe that she just wanted me to leave her alone regarding her foot. Her body odor was rather pungent. I am concerned that she is not cleaning herself properly or not bothering to change her slip-on diapers.

Mon., Dec. 1 - Visited mom to help her locate her garage door opener. It was just where I told her it should be over the phone. Saw a food container on the floor in the hallway leading to the garage. She has told me that she sometimes leaves food there instead of refrigerating it, when her fridge is too full of leftovers. I'm concerned that she is eating perishable food that has been left on the floor several days after it was prepared, since she frequently loses track of time. She often has diarrhea and I suspect that comes from eating spoiled food. Her home smelled terrible and so did she. I'm sure that she either had a bowel movement in her diaper or failed to wipe herself thoroughly.

Wed., Dec. 3 - Laura, director of Twinsburg Senior Center, called to let me know that she and other staff people were noticing that my mother was having hygiene problems, difficulty walking, and acute memory loss. She wanted to let me know that she was going to call Summit County Services for the Aged again. I encouraged her to do so, because my mother refuses any help from me. I am so frustrated and powerless to do anything. Until she is declared incompetent, I do not have power of attorney to do anything that requires legal action.

I told Laura that my husband and I were looking to move to a Senior Community in Florida as soon as possible. I had hoped to have my mother in Grande Village by now, but she refuses to even consider it. Now that we are in our 70's I want to be sure that we are making better choices than my mother has done over the last ten years. She needs to be in an assisted living facility with people who know how to care for her. She has the resources to pay for quality care. It's unfortunate that she doesn't see that or that her "friends" continue enabling her to oppose my assistance.