Memory loss

My mother was told at her pre-op appointment on Wednesday to stop taking Coumadin on Saturday, to cancel her Coumadin clinic appointment on Monday, and that UH would call her on Wednesday to tell her when to arrive for her scheduled surgery on Thursday. I asked her this morning whether she had followed their instructions and she had already forgotten everything. 

She insists on living alone and resents any family "interference" or help. I've dared to suggest that we look into assisted care facilities upon doctor recommendation, to hire in home nursing care, get her to wear a medical alert, even to use one of the many canes she has stored in her garage - all to no avail.

Being Mean to Family - Is This the Privilege of the Elderly?

Just returned from helping my 90 year old mother pay her property and estimated IRS taxes. I dared to mention that her kitchen counters were filled with rotting fruits and vegetables as well as other perishables that needed to be refrigerated.

Her reaction was to begin calling me names and telling me to mind my own business and then accusing me of stealing from her. I've tried to work through social and mental health workers to no avail.

This photograph was the condition of her counters before her last hospital stay, when she was diagnosed as having dementia. With the help of a couple of house cleaners we were able to clean up her condo, but within four months she has returned it to its former state.

I think my mistake was in cleaning her home. If we had left it in the condition we found it, perhaps the social worker would have helped me to move her into an assisted living facility, which she profoundly needs.

Looks like I need some time away from my mother again or perhaps I will move out of state - no joke, I'm seriously considering moving away.

Taxes and Other Important Bills

Two things we argue about the most - her failure to pay important bills and her inability to keep track of medication and medical appointments. My mother always blames the Postal Delivery person or me whenever she loses track of important bills. She doesn't like to think about her bladder cancer or Atrial Fibrillation. Admittedly not things anyone wants to dwell upon, but they won't go away if you ignore them.

Her accountant sends forms for estimated taxes in a timely manner; she fails to pay them anyway as well as her long term health insurance policy and her property taxes. Bills that arrive monthly or anything to do with mail order catalogs or Publishers Clearing House are usually paid promptly.

Sunday Brunch With Family

Brunch with family at the Blue Canyon. Ordered Mimosa drinks for all the adults. My mother mentioned that she couldn't remember the last time she had a Mimosa. She completely forgot we had mimosas on Mother's Day just a few weeks ago.

Every time we take her to the Blue canyon my mother acts as though it has been ages since she's been there. She forgets that often we take her to that specific restaurant four or five times a year. No matter what we do for her, it is never enough. She tells her friends that we leave her alone all the time.