Being Mean to Family - Is This the Privilege of the Elderly?

Just returned from helping my 90 year old mother pay her property and estimated IRS taxes. I dared to mention that her kitchen counters were filled with rotting fruits and vegetables as well as other perishables that needed to be refrigerated.

Her reaction was to begin calling me names and telling me to mind my own business and then accusing me of stealing from her. I've tried to work through social and mental health workers to no avail.

This photograph was the condition of her counters before her last hospital stay, when she was diagnosed as having dementia. With the help of a couple of house cleaners we were able to clean up her condo, but within four months she has returned it to its former state.

I think my mistake was in cleaning her home. If we had left it in the condition we found it, perhaps the social worker would have helped me to move her into an assisted living facility, which she profoundly needs.

Looks like I need some time away from my mother again or perhaps I will move out of state - no joke, I'm seriously considering moving away.